Step 1: Post “Hey y’all, I need a break from Facebook. Too much negativity. See you in the real world.” Log off.
Step 2: Log back in. Just to read comments from friends begging you to stay. Discover they’re saying goodbye.
Or worse, clicking “like”. Log out, for good.
Step 3: Log back in. Just to check messages. Nothing. Log out. This time for good.
Step 4: Wait. Check notifications. For the last time.
Step 5: Ohhh, she had a baby. I’ll just congratulate her. It would be rude not to. Log off. For good.
Step 6: Delete app from phone.
Step 7: Reinstall app, but move the icon to 3rd screen. All by itself. Out of sight. Out of reach. For emergency use.
Step 8: Get “mommy thumb” from frequent swipes to third page.
Step 9: Doctor tells you to reduce movement in your thumb. Giving time for the tendonitis to heal.
Step 10: Swipe Facebook icon back to home screen.
Step 11: Delete the post telling the world you’re leaving Facebook.
Step 12: Act like it never happened. Don’t beat yourself. Researchers discovered why it’s so hard to quit.